Friday, September 28, 2018

A whole new chapter of my life.

It’s been months since I wrote in here. I really miss sharing my personal stories but some things are meant to be private and kept to myself. But this story I’m sharing now is something I am very proud of. I’m excited to share with you all this brand new chapter.

As I grow older.. or shall I say, when I started putting the “a 20-something mushy simple girl” in my bio, it was the time I realized that I am really a complete adult. From a struggling bread winner, to successfully get back to blogging, and overcoming relationship difficulties within family, friends and love ones. And now to becoming an expecting mother.

I don’t know how to explain the feeling but it is something very overwhelming with joy, slightly nervous and giddly excited for the future.

You see, I have a boyfriend and we’ve been together for 5 years. We’re living together ever since I had my brother finished college. My family is not rich so I have to help my siblings. Anyways, back to us.. We’re not really expecting to have a baby but we’re always open for any possibility. I mean, if ever I get pregnant any time, that is okay. We’re not being reckless or something, but we do have our office jobs that pays our bills. We are not conservartive but not extremely liberated too. I know people have their own opinions but I hope we can respect each other’s point of view. Well, you’re already reading this. Haha

How did I know I’m pregnant? So this part, I hope, would help women with irregular periods. I don’t have the monthly regular menstruation cycle unlike most of you. So if I skipped 1 or 2 months, that is absolutely normal.

So I can’t clearly remember the exact date of my last period but it might be around June or July. My breasts was really getting sensitive so I thought I’m getting my period. You know what I mean? Haha. So it took way too long for me to endure the pain while I patiently wait but nothing. So I thought, that’s just delayed menstruation again. No biggie.

I did some physical activity during the first week of September when I got the first blood. Lol. But it’s just a spotting. And that’s the time I got the idea to take the pregnancy test as I was also vomiting sometimes. I thought the vomiting is just because I have a gastritis which was diagnosed earlier this year. It’s not a severe case of vomitting and I don’t feel sickly at all. Also, my stomach is getting fat because I suddenly eat a lot more. I asked my boyfriend to buy a PT.

I did the instructions, and dipped the strip on my first morning urine. Yup, it’s a strip. I think that’s just the new PT trend nowadays. Lol. So while I was waiting for the red lines, I felt very nervous for the possibility. Then the first line appeared, then the second one. I felt blank. I was confused and hurriedly went back to my room to see the manual. It’s positive.

Took some pics and sent it over to my partner asap. Well, he responded so quickly with hearts and happy emojis. He’s really happy with the result. He loves children so much so I’m very sure the he will take the situation with a happy heart.

But I got little scared. Not because I didn’t want the baby but for a false positive pregnancy. I had an ultrasound 5 years ago and the doctor told me that my egg cells were not fully matured yet and I’ll be having a difficulty with pregnancy. I also read some articles about getting a positive PT but ended up having cysts. That’s what I’m scared of.

I’m really looking forward to my transv ultrasound to ease my worry. And then I had it.. I saw my baby for the first time and even heard his/her heartbeat. I got teary-eyed seeing my baby. I am so happy! At some point in my life, I was scared I will not be able to carry a life in my womb because of what the doctor said 5 years ago. But I saw you, my little one. Despite the spotting, she’s so strong, holding on. She’s alive and her heart is beating.

I am over-joyed. This is the best time in my life. The timing was unexpected but who cares? I’m already 25-years old! There’s nothing too early but also not too late for such a blessing. Baby, I know this is just the begginning, but you’ve been there for 11 weeks now without me knowing. Thank you for holding on strongly. I love you. You’re the greatest blessing in our lives.

I am announcing this on our 5th year anniversary. This might be a lil cheesy, but now that we’re expecting parents, it’s a nice feeling that I’m happy for the thought of spending the rest of my life with my man. This is the part of the relationship that I confirmed that I am happily fine and contented being with you.

This is the new chapter of my life. The real deal of adulthood. I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to see you my precious baby. I love you.

Love Always,
Maria Hazel

1 comment